


Brotherly

by chiridotalaevis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, Family, Implied Bullying, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mention of Phil's housemate's death, POV Outsider, Tour Bus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 07:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15358866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiridotalaevis/pseuds/chiridotalaevis
Summary: Martyn has a text conversation with his mother while on tour.





	Brotherly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waveydnp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/gifts).



> This fic is dedicated to Sarah, who wanted something soft and fluffy on the bus. I'm sorry that it's not exactly what you asked for, it just sort of happened. I hope you like it.
> 
> An enormous thank you to my two amazing betas @terpia and @megiaolf, who are both angels.

Sunlight is peaking through the blinds on the windows, making the small table Martyn has set up his laptop on look as though it is painted in luminescent stripes. It is still pretty early, but most of the crew is riding in a separate car ahead of them to help set up the show and Dan, Phil and Marianne are still asleep, so the only thing that can be heard is the steady rumbling of the bus engine and the soft sound of the radio that the driver is listening to.

They are driving through what seems to be an endless sequence of fields, sometimes interrupted by a river or a small patch of trees. As someone who grew up in England, Martyn always finds the sheer amount of space in America a bit suffocating. As they drive down endless highways, he can’t help but think that nowhere in Europe can he see so much sky and nothing else. It’s a weird feeling.

Martyn is going through his emails, sending notes to the venues about merch stands and going over the final details of the schedule when he hears his phone vibrate next to him. As he unlocks it, he sees a notification from “mum”. It makes Martyn automatically smile. Because of the time difference he rarely gets to chat with his parents while they are touring, and call him a momma’s boy, but he genuinely misses the opportunity to talk with them every couple of days.

 **Hello child!** \- reads the message.

 **Hi** \- he answers quickly. As soon as he sends the message, he sees three dots appear. He waits for his mother to finish typing.

**How are you, child? Did you sleep well? Are you eating properly?**

Martyn starts typing out his reply, smiling. He might be 35 years old, but his mother still worries about him as though he is a rebellious teenager.

 

***

 **So how’s my youngest child doing? -** Kathryn asks.

Martyn and his mum have been texting for about an hour and he has told her about the weird rash he has on his leg from a questionable sunscreen he used and about the presents he bought Cornelia. Kath has told him all about the recipe she tried out at dinner yesterday and about his aunts recovery from surgery and how his father got a very unfortunate haircut.

As he reads the text asking about Phil, he can clearly picture her face at that moment. Her expression is still happy and warm, but there is a slight wrinkle between her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth go down slightly. This is the “worried mum” face that Martyn is extremely closely acquainted with. He knows that even though she talks to Phil constantly, she worries about him. Especially when they are doing something as big and as difficult as this tour.

Martyn is immediately brought back to all the times when she would direct that question at him years before. He remembers her worried face when she would ask Martyn if he knew why Phil isn’t properly talking to her or his father. He remembers her sending Martyn to talk to Phil and coming in to see his teenage brother curled up into a tiny miserable ball on the bed. He looked so small and vulnerable, that Martyn always just wanted to wrap him up and hide him away from the world. Instead, he would sit on the bed and wait. In the end, Phil always opened up to Martyn. It would take time and delicate prodding, but Phil trusted Martyn with his life, and Martyn has never treated that responsibility lightly.

He remembers Phil telling him about kids at school being mean to him, and Martyn shaking in silent rage. His brother was odd and quirky, but he was also creative and kind and from a very early age exhumed a light that no one could match. He got excited about the weirdest things, he would try to make friends with everyone around him, from police officers to classmates to trash bins and trees. He always was trying to create something new and exciting, and his eyes would always shine with enthusiasm and light. The fact that there were people who wanted to hurt him for being different made Martyn pray with all his might to whatever powers commanded the universe that his brother wouldn’t get mistreated by life. That he would find someone who understands that wonder that he has and who would appreciate him for the adorable weirdo he is. Who would wrap him up in love and let him be himself.

He remembers talking to Phil on a break from his second year of university, them sitting on the couch playing Final Fantasy while their parents were out of the house, when Phil quietly whispered “I think I like boys” amidst the noises from the game. He remembers looking over to Phil in surprise and seeing his face, scared and confused and anxious, and his eyes begging Martyn to understand. He honestly hadn’t known how to react, but looking at his younger brother’s fearful eyes, he had vowed to himself to never make Phil afraid to tell him something again, so he had just smiled and murmured “okay” and continued playing.

They talked more about it over the years, and if anything, that shared secret brought them even closer together.

He remembers when Rob died, getting a phone call from Phil and rushing to see him at his house he shared with his roommates, just to find Phil curled up and crying, alone and absolutely heartbroken. He remembers thinking to himself that even though Phil is no longer a small kid, but instead a tall and big adult, how he wishes he could scoop him up and protect him from this pain. If only that was possible.

He remembers Phil telling him over the phone in a shaky voice that he has a boyfriend. Dan. That he loves him so much and he is really scared of telling his parents.

And he also remembers the tears his mother shed after he did tell them, and his father’s shock and confusion. He knows both Kath and Nigel deeply regret how they reacted then. Even though both of them were just incredibly worried about another thing that made their youngest kid more different and vulnerable, and didn’t know how to deal with wanting the best for your child. they hurt Phil deeply and it’s still something none of them like to bring up.

But their relationship is good right now. Solid. Close. He wonders why she is asking him all of a sudden, and doesn’t just talk to Phil himself. He knows she is worried because Phil has been really stressed lately, tired from the tour and constantly meeting people and making decisions taking a serious a toll on him.

**He’s ok.**

**Why don’t you ask him yourself?** \- he asks her.

 **I have been but he isn’t answering! He is always either busy or eating. And you know he can’t type and eat at the same time.** She accompanies the message with one of those huge spinning smiling emojis, and Martyn quietly chuckles at the obnoxious thing. **I haven’t heard from him in days. Tell him to talk to me.**

 **Let me go get him** \- Martyn answers. It’s 9 am already and they will be at their next stop in less than an hour, so Martyn doesn’t feel that bad about waking Phil up. And also, not answering your mother’s texts is a punishable offense in the Lester family anyway, so Phil deserves to be woken up. He needs to get out of bed at some point anyway.

He leans down to open up the curtain to Phil’s bunk and is met with a somewhat familiar picture. Phil is curled up in a tight ball, eyes closed and breathing evenly, his face looking young and peaceful and so vulnerable, that Martyn feels the familiar protectiveness rise up in his chest.

What’s different is that instead of being alone, Phil is now wrapped in big broad arms of his partner. Martyn can only guess that Dan has climbed down from his bunk during the night, and is now sleeping crammed into the wall of the bus, holding Phil tightly in his arms, with his leg thrown over Phil’s legs, and his face buried into Phil’s messy black hair. Scooping him up and holding him as close as humanly possible. Covering him almost totally. Hiding him away from the world.

Martyn smiles softly at the scene. His brother is no longer a small chubby child, no longer an awkward teenager. By every definition, he is a grown man. A very big one in fact. Influential, rich, talented. He is also very tall. Taller than Martyn. Who would have guessed that out of all the people on the planet, Phil would find someone even bigger and taller, someone who makes him look small and fragile when they lie in a cramped bunk together.

He probably will never stop worrying about his brother all together, but now he has Dan who worries with him. Who appreciates Phil for exactly who he is, and loves everything that makes him weird. Someone who has Phil’s love and who cherishes it and protects it as the most valuable thing in the world. Who has helped Phil turn from a gangly insecure kid into a confident, happy and successful man. A man who is living his dream and giving so much happiness to people around him.

Martyn will deny this if ever asked, but he feels so proud of his baby brother.

He doesn’t have the heart to wake them. But he does take a picture. He sends it to his mother with the caption

**Sorry to tell you, but your youngest child seems to be held captive by an enormous curly haired giant. We might never see him again:)**

**Tell them both I love them -** she texts back. After a pause she sends another message:

**Take care of them, ok? Both of them. They look tired.**

**I’m so glad they have each other. And that the bunks are big enough ;)**

Martyn chuckles, but can’t help agree. He thinks to himself that whatever powers he used to pray to have been incredibly kind.

 **Love you, mum -** he texts back and goes back to work. He still has a million things to do before they arrive. He will make Phil feel guilty for sleeping in later. He really does need the sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](https://quercussp.tumblr.com/) or click [here](https://quercussp.tumblr.com/post/176074498802/brotherly) to reblog.


End file.
